the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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