you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
