John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
