clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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