Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my shit smells like andre
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
