my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
