Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
