we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
my liver is dry heaving
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
