Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
