Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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