the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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