Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
