is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
