I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
