During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There are leaves in my underwear?
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