i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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