we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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