She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
