The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
