Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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