he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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