Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
