She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize