Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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