What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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