Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
