Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
