i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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