if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You were trust falling into bushes
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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