This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Please, let me fuck your mom
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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