Swine flu. Run for my life!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
