Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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