either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
