I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize