that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
