Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
