remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They took my balls.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
