I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
