i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
