Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
