I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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