He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize