I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Text me some of your sweat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
