piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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