Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
be right there i have to get my cape
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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