Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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