Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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