I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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