nut hugger
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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