god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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