just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i already hear my dad disowning me
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
