Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
