Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
