Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just invented taco cereal.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
