Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
