I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
