My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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