Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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