Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
